March 4, 2014

Today I had such a bad body image day. I woke up feeling slightly bloated and I didn’t feel satisfied after my breakfast. Plus, I didn’t use the bathroom (if you know what I mean) last night so this morning, my stomach felt really uncomfortable and big. I honestly hate feeling like this especially first thing in the morning.

At school, I had an apple and 15 almonds and 1 cashew as a snack/meal #2. I was so afraid and conscious of what I was eating, how much, how often, how fast… this anxiety was too much for me. Perhaps my breakfast wasn’t big enough? I usually have the same breakfast but maybe I’ve just been hungrier often. 

Then after lit, I still felt really big and constricted especially due to the tightness of my jeans. My jeans were not THAT tight today but these jeans are slightly smaller and tighter than the rest of my pairs. I was hungry during lunch but my brother wanted subway so I took him to subway. Thankfully, he bought his own sandwich and got a free one since we had a coupon. 🙂
My lunch was SO weak but I was too hungry and anxious to carefully select what to eat. So I had a bowl of chicken no-noodle soup which had homemade chicken broth, chicken breast pieces, celery, onions, and carrots. On the side, I had a bowl of salad with JUST the spring salad mix and a tablespoon of balsamic vinegar. Then after that, my snack was 1/6 of a banana, two frozen grapes, 137 grams of cantaloupe melon, and a tangerine. It doesn’t add up to much calories. So maybe that’s why I wasn’t entirely as satisfied as I had desired to be? Or maybe because I did not have a proper lunch. Ugh, I should’ve just eaten a sandwich or something. Maybe for lunch tomorrow I’ll eat a sandwich with turkey breast, green lettuce, and mustard. 

Luckily, I was able to flush my food down. Woohoo! I feel much better but I am afraid I will feel hungry soon around 4 PM ish..

I have work until 5:30PM tonight so I hope I’ll be able to control my cravings and/or hunger. My plan is to eat 1/2 cup of quinoa, 1/3 zucchini, red bell pepper, grated carrots, and a bowl of seaweed soup mostly consisting of just kelp. 

Sincerely,

Me.

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